CAN YOU FORCE RELUCTANT PARENTS TO MOVE TO A HOME?
One of the hardest parts of dealing with aging parents with dementia from Alzheimer's or other illnesses is ensuring their continued safety in their home environments. Sometimes everyone but the elderly parent—such as adult children, neighbors, and doctors—agrees that the parent now needs a supervised living environment to remain safe.
But the parent vehemently refuses to address the issue. In fact, past efforts have always ended so badly that the kids hate to even bring it up again with their mom or dad.
What Is the Next Step?
Clients often want to know how they can legally force their parents to move into assisted living facilities or nursing homes. And while it is indeed possible in some circumstances to obtain a conservatorship over elderly parents diagnosed with dementia, the process is frequently fraught turmoil and the outcome is never guaranteed.
However, one likely result of a court battle to establish conservatorship of an adult is fractured relationships within the family - between adult children and elderly parents, among siblings, even between the grandchildren and children of the senior at issue in the conservatorship.
Time May Be on Your Side
Unless the situation is truly dire, it might be best to retreat for now and let events unfold. The reality is that dementia is a progressively fatal diagnosis. No one is suggesting that you let a parent live in squalor until he or she succumbs, however.
Your parent might need to experience some negative consequences of remaining in the home when health deteriorates to the point where he or she can no longer manage daily affairs. Having the utilities cut off for non-payment or a minor household emergency occur might provide mom or dad with the impetus to make a change for the better.
Sometimes You Need to Be Proactive
At the very least, documenting an unfortunate incident can bolster your case for a conservatorship if all other entreaties are met with stony resistance. However, it must be stated that the California courts are very cognizant of a senior citizen's right to self-determination. If your parent is at least intermittently lucid, your petition for conservatorship could be denied.
If you decide to petition the courts for a conservatorship for an elderly parent and you have siblings, it is imperative that all be on the same page. Simply having a sibling take your parent's side that there is no need to change living arrangements can upset your apple cart.
Call a sibling meeting and have out-of-town siblings join via Skype or another video calling platform. Lay out your case calmly and be ready to answer their questions. You may want an elder law attorney who is familiar with your parent's circumstances to sit in on the call to offer guidance.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: When does it become necessary to consider conservatorship for an elderly parent?
A: Conservatorship may become necessary when an elderly parent with dementia or similar conditions is unable to make safe or sound decisions about their welfare and living conditions, and when their refusal to move to a safer environment puts their health and safety at serious risk.
Q: What steps can be taken before considering legal action for conservatorship?
A: Before resorting to conservatorship, try exploring all informal options, such as consulting with geriatric care managers or elder law attorneys, having family discussions, and arranging temporary respite care to demonstrate the benefits of a supervised living environment to the reluctant parent.
Q: Are there any alternatives to court-ordered conservatorship that can help keep my parent safe?
A: Yes, alternatives include setting up a durable power of attorney for health care and finances, arranging for in-home care services, or using geriatric care management services to assist with daily tasks while allowing the parent to stay in their home.
Q: How can we handle disagreements among siblings about the best course of action for our parent?
A: Family mediation can be an effective way to address disagreements among siblings. Mediators experienced in elder care issues can help facilitate discussions and reach a consensus on the best plan for the parent's care and safety.
Understand Your Rights and Options
The care of an elderly parent with dementia is no easy task. Each family must weigh the risks and benefits of seeking conservatorship, always striving to balance the parent's right to autonomy with the necessity of ensuring their safety and well-being. Communication among family members, along with professional guidance from elder law attorneys and geriatric care managers, is crucial in forming an effective and compassionate approach to care.
While it may be a challenging journey, understanding the available options and remaining unified as a family can significantly ease the transition and ultimately lead to better outcomes for your loved one.